We may or may not be heading for a recession of some type. It certainly gets talked a lot about in the news media but I think that’s mostly because there are too many people in this world who want to work in the media and not enough actual news to go around, so people seek out and speculate on topics in order to have something to publish. Once speculation starts, then everyone will at the very least start to question if it’s true and if they should tighten their belts. I think that we’re all a little skittish given the drop off that happened about 10 years ago.
I can’t decide today if I’m in that skittish group or if I’m starting to feel a little impervious-ish to it all? For the fourth time in 12 years, I have been laid off from my job. I had a nice run. I had 4.5 years with a full-time job (aka, full-time paycheck). Given our proclivity for moving, this was split between 2 different places, but it was still 4.5 years. I only had a week between the two jobs and I had the latest one before I quit the other.
But now I find myself on the other end of the stick again – sitting here with no paycheck. Here’s the thing I’ve said several time over the last few years, I’ve been laid off enough times that I’m no longer afraid of losing my job. Today I stand by that statement with one slight addition. It doesn’t mean that not having a paycheck isn’t scary, it’s more that I know I can actually make it through this because I have before and the world didn’t end. Let’s be clear here though in case you’re reading this because you’re in the same place as me. I don’t have kids and I have a spouse with a full-time job. We also have a reserve in the bank account and are lucky enough to not have to live paycheck to paycheck. I’ve been flat broke before though, in fact, that’s pretty much how I grew up so I’m not unsympathetic to it. I will write more on this aspect in the future.
One thing I did a lot of, when I was unemployed before, was read through stories on the internet, because the internet is full of advice on what the hell to do with your life, mostly by people who haven’t really experienced it. I said that I wouldn’t be writing on this weblet (read It’s Not a Blog, It’s a Weblet) in the form of advice by using a lot of the word “you”, but I’m making an exception in a manner of speaking because I’ve decided to let the world follow me through the drastic ups and downs of being an ambitious, smart person who just apparently is unable to keep a job (more on that statement later).
So let’s start with the fact that I got laid off three days ago, at 4:30 on a Thursday. It wasn’t much different than the other times I’ve been let go in the fact that there’s been no outward expression of ill will. Each time my employer has allowed me to stay and clean up or return at a later time to gather my personal items and this week was the same. I also don’t leave by burning a bridge. One, it’s not worth it emotionally and two, even if my employer was a giant ass clown, if I’m also a giant ass clown, the story will spread throughout the rest of the office. Perhaps my former employer won’t be an asset to me finding new employment, but my now-former-co-workers will. And I won’t be around to tell my side of the story, so everyone will believe what they hear about me if it’s right or wrong. Leaving the office will be the last impression I make, it should be as full of dignity as possible. So I asked if I could file away my project emails so others could search them easier if they needed to and take the time to pack up my stuff, which gratefully was after everyone else in the office left. Yes, I was trusted enough to be the last out and leave my key on my desk. I did leave actual paper project files on my desk for someone else. I wanted to get out of there and they were at least in organized file folders, and at some point, employers have to deal with some crap from laying people off.
So what now? I know what’s coming over the next few weeks and am not looking forward to it, but I’ve got a plan that I’m going to do my best to stick to.
First – I know that the first week will feel a bit like a vacation. This is really true for this job since I dreaded going every day. It’ll be week two when the depression really sits in.
Second – Knowing that, the day after I got let go, I grabbed a notebook and made three lists. The first was titled “To Do” and I’ve been adding all types of projects and chores to it since, it’s getting long. This is where everything that people say “if I had time I’d…” goes. Since it looks like we’re moving, I’ve got extra purge stuff on this list.
The other two lists are titled “What Do I Want” and “Possible Job Options”. The want list includes feelings and desires for future jobs. The options list puts down places or types of jobs to look at. I’m writing this all down now because I know that I will get to a point where I’m really depressed and in that moment it’s extremely difficult for me to think of hopeful things and options. I’m getting that on paper now to help remind me there’s still hope when I hit a dark place.
I’m going to write more throughout this process. So check back for my progress. I’ll include the good, bad and ugly.
