(See Too Much Stuff – Part One here.)
I’ve realized that the stuff itself, or getting rid of it, wasn’t what was weighing me down as much as the feeling that I didn’t have control over what I got to surround myself with. I was shackled to it by my upbringing. I wasn’t allowed to purge old family items that just sat in boxes because they were family items. I had surrounded myself with so many crafting supplies, yarn and fabric that I had left myself with no space to actually create because that was the way that it was for me growing up. I have gathered up so many shoes and clothing items that didn’t really fit well and therefore found I had nothing to wear.
Once I realized this, (something that didn’t actually hit me until about 9 months after the first game went into the box), I started slowly working toward using and purging. I don’t agree with one giant sort and purge effort that occurs within one weekend. I believe a lifetime of collecting and stockpiling requires time to process so that the emotional baggage associated with it can be dealt with properly and with finality. It’s clear to me now that the collecting of things is something I was taught to do by people who were never really able to get what they wanted or have a life they wanted, so stuff served as a poor surrogate. I feel like I’m well into that process now and as a result, find myself itching to get stuff out of my life. But I cannot bring myself to just throw things into the landfill because I believe it’s incredibly wasteful.
First, due to foot issues, I finally went through shoes and tried a bunch on, if they were just not appropriate for me to wear, they went into a pile. That pile became about a dozen pairs, and several of them had been worn once or twice, probably because they were very uncomfortable. With these, I just can’t bring myself to donate them to a standard thrift store, which is why I’m currently seeing if anyone I know in the same size would like to have them. I’m happy to give them to a good home! If this doesn’t work, there is a store in my region that may buy used clothes and shoes, and while I may only get a dollar for them, at least they are going to a store dedicated to merchandising and selling used clothing, which means there’s a better chance of them actually being used. They aren’t brand names by any means, but I might try an online sales site next and if none of that works, then off to Goodwill they will eventually go as a last resort.
I recently grabbed some of my fabric and yarn and put some items up for sale on craigslist. I only got 2 bites on the yarn and nothing on the fabric. One person basically wanted the yarn for about nothing, despite the really, really low price to start with. The other person however, said that she created items for a local shelter/charity and wondered if I’d consider donating the yarn to her and she would use it for a good cause. I ended up giving her about half of my listing and believe that she is telling me the truth which makes me feel good about the end use. Not only that, but I only gave her half because she inspired me to get off my butt and perhaps use the other yarn to make something for a good cause as well. But as least one bag went out the door and that’s a start. I also can’t tell you the last time I bought yarn, I did look last Spring and walked around the store with a skein, but then I put it back on the shelf saying I didn’t need it!
Although it doesn’t seem like much, there’s been a bit of a purge under my bathroom counter. I’ve got a bunch of cosmetic samples that have been given to me and which I do enjoy, but I’ve realized how much I’ve hoarded them rather than used them. I was taking comfort in knowing they were there, while also being strangled by their ongoing presence. In the last 3 months, I’ve used a bunch of them up (just used up 3 little packets this week!), threw outdated or leaking stuff into the garbage (yes the landfill) along with ones that just weren’t going to get used and were too old to pass along to friends. In the cubic volume of stuff I have, this is a fraction of a percent of it, but I’m still claiming a small victory because my drawers and cabinets do not need to be so overstuffed that I can’t find something inside of them. And in this particular case, I find that I’m making myself feel good with a little beauty pampering in the process. Most things are meant to be used, not just looked at (art excepted!).
Just in the last week, I have looked up places to take a couple of broken hair dryers. It’s a metal recycling place where I’m hoping they will at least pull out the small amount of wiring from the case before the rest is sent to a landfill. It’s a tiny thing, but it’s something. I also looked up a local animal shelter because I heard that they may take old blankets and towels to use as bedding and cleaning tools for the animals. A local shelter has on their website a note that says they do. I’ve set a goal to do both of these by the first of next month. There’s not really any reason why I should have a crammed-full-kitchen-towel-drawer when 3 or 4 of those towels are almost see-through (by the way, those towels have been with us for about 15 years, so if you’re wondering, it seems to take about 15 years to actually wear out a kitchen towel, make your purchases thoughtfully, and yes, this is one of those moments where I am a little preach-ier than I planned when I started this weblet!).
Without really knowing it, the biggest thing I’ve done is lowered the amount of purchases of little things. I’m still spending money on items, but now I’m buying one higher quality thing, which usually means a higher price, but I’m getting much more enjoyment out of it. Not because it cost more, but because it is what I actually wanted instead of spending a little less on something that I just settled for. With another impending move on the horizon, I will continue to find ways to lower the volume of items in the house. I know that this process will take a long time for me yet, likely well beyond the next move, but it feels really good to be able to let go. It’s true that stuff can express who I am, but it doesn’t have to imprison me.
