(The image used in the title of this post is via www.imbd.com.)
Yesterday I went to see the movie Bombshell. It’s a movie that depicts the events surrounding Fox News and the downfall of Roger Ailes due to his creation of an environment which included sexual harassment. I certainly knew what the content of the movie was going to be and I had even done some research on Megyn Kelly and Gretchen Carlson prior to seeing the film. Yet 12 hours later I have been impacted by this film in a profound way.
The events in the film are largely true but some license was taken in order to more effectively tell the story. Megyn Kelly, the central character and real-life person, watched the movie with her husband and a team of ladies who were also affected by the culture at Fox and presented a discussion about it here. In it they reveal the parts of the movie that were spot-on and the ones that were made up.
I’ve never been a person who watches the all-news-all-the-time networks. As a general rule I find them annoying because any show that has more than one person on at a time just turns into a shouting fest and then I tune out. I also don’t care for the extreme opinions that are encouraged on those shows. I knew who Gretchen Carlson is because I am a supporter of the Miss America pageant and knew she was a former titleholder. I don’t think I had heard of Megyn Kelly until her name came up from the Republican debate which sparked a long-term series of verbal attacks by then-candidate Donald Trump. I still don’t know anything about her show on Fox or her opinions. I had heard about the story in which Gretchen was no longer at Fox News and had filed a sexual harassment suit against Roger Ailes, who I had never heard of. I didn’t really pay attention to the details except that I understood it ended up taking a turn when so many women came out in support of Gretchen, and together they were able to prove this wasn’t a frivolous suit, it had merit and Roger was ousted by Fox. I really only remember it being a moment when I was thinking, well, this wasn’t just a disgruntled employee, this guy was really a creep.
I didn’t really understand the magnitude of the events until seeing the movie.
Me Too didn’t come about because of the Fox News events. It came about after that when news of Harvey Weinstein started to surface and many women simply started to speak out by saying Me Too in support of others, noting it had also happened to them. But I think that Gretchen and Megyn and the brave women at Fox planted those seeds and started building the foundation on which other women felt safe to speak out about their own experiences.
The movie was not told in a manner which I expected, but by the end of the film, I actually believe it was done very well in the way it unfolded. I think the entire team did a great job of portraying women in the very difficult situation in which they were placed. John Lithgow found that fine line as an actor in which he effectively portrayed a real person with a complex, yet disturbed, personality. You Tube videos of people who knew Roger (such as Megyn Kelly) have revealed that he indeed did help them with their careers and that he did build up the network. He was an ally to them while also being a predator. I personally think this is what predators do. They work best when they have the trust of the victims. Whether they do this consciously or unconsciously I do not know and these are just my opinions.
The impact of the movie didn’t sink in for a couple of hours, but I knew when I got home I wanted to know more about the actual events portrayed in the drama and spent several hours researching stories and videos on the internet. I wanted to educate myself more on what had taken place. The research led me from Roger Ailes, to Jimmy Saville (who I hadn’t heard of, but was a serial predator in the U.K.) to Harvey Weinstein.
I’ve realized that because these accusations all involved personalities associated with media and entertainment that I had compartmentalized them into that category as if they wouldn’t affect my life. I didn’t realize that these very events were, and are, changing the discussion in our society about sexual assault and harassment. I hope we will continue to hear women (or men) when they speak out and say that they have been assaulted or harassed.
I spent a lot of time reviewing videos and news of Harvey Weinstein in my online research and stumbled onto a news story in which one of his accusers had a video of events which preceded her rape by him (but not the crime itself). A video was recorded due to the software she was discussing with him, it was part of the demonstration. The victim (I think I’m supposed to say alleged here given that he’s under trial currently and has not been found innocent or guilty) discusses the video with the reporter and therefore can clarify what she was thinking at the time, which is of course not on the video. I see a man who was apparently very big in Hollywood, yet was taking business meetings in a hotel suite instead of a tricked out office. He clearly says to others who arrive with him to leave and do not disturb them. He very clearly, and in my opinion rudely, pushes aside the hand the victim holds out to shake and abruptly grabs her for a hug, rubbing her back in the process and commenting on how nice it was. Later in the video she remarks that he’s touching her thigh and he’s clearly seen rubbing her shoulder. She attempted to be professional and light because this was a man who truly could have an impact on her career and was giving her his time.
His actions made me sick to my stomach.
I am a person who can say to others “Me Too”. It’s a very large group of women (and also includes more men than we might think). I am fortunate in that my incident, by comparison to most others, was very minor yet it shook me in a way that stays with me today. I am grateful for the incident only in that I now understand what others have endured. If a person watched the video I described above, and had not experienced something similar, it would be easy to do what society has always done and that’s to blame the victim. Society would ask, from the safety of their armchairs, why she didn’t just leave or how did she get in that situation in the first place. It’s not that black and white. It was a predetermined time and day to meet to discuss a product for his company, one that in the video he appeared to be interested in while also systematically confusing his victim. I have no doubt that she felt simultaneously safe and threatened which places people into a fight or flight mode. Keeping a victim confused between the two extremes actually ends up putting the victim into the third, less-well-known category, which is freeze.
My incident was with a co-worker. I had worked with him in a small office of people for probably almost a year. I’m a pretty good judge of creeps and pick up vibes from them very quickly, but my radar is not perfect. As I noted previously, perpetrators of this behavior have learned how to prey and how to gain trust. This man was a nice guy. We all noted that he was seemingly good at his job. He was genuine in his conversations. Men and women in the office liked him. He was married with older kids and seemed like a stand-up guy. One night after work a small group of us went out for drinks, which happens in society all the time. As people needed to go home, the group became smaller. I had drank enough that I was starting to feel the effects and I needed to drive myself home so I stopped drinking and knew I needed to have some water and allow the slight buzz to dissipate over time. I was not drunk and I was not heavily buzzed, I simply could tell that I was more relaxed. At the same time, the third person who was still with us departed leaving just the two of us. I would also like to point out that this is not that late in the evening, perhaps 7 or 8 pm in the Spring, so it was dark but had not been for long. I stated I needed to wait until I drove home and we were sitting in a bar where a larger party was taking place, so it was loud. My co-worker suggested we go somewhere else. As we left he pointed to his car and said that we should just sit there for a while and wait until I could drive. This is the point where society would start to judge, because of course looking back at it, this seems like a very odd suggestion in an area where there are plenty of restaurants and bars to go to. This is where trust comes in. I trusted this person. Up to this point in the night, and in the time I had known him, he had never indicated anything other than a genuine professional friendship.
Within five minutes of us sitting in a parked car on a public street, this man started to rub the top and back of my shoulder, with his hand moving underneath my collar and touching my skin in a massaging type of action. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. Uncomfortable was not the correct word, I was in danger and it had happened instantly. This was an older man I worked with, who was not someone who had any power over my job, but was someone I had (up to that point) respected. He did have a type of authority in the office, even if it was simply an implied one. There was no doubt in my mind that his touching me was sexual and it was absolutely unwanted and it was absolutely unprovoked. Without a single doubt, I had not said, implied or done anything to encourage the behavior and it sure as hell had nothing to do with how I was dressed.
Not knowing what to do, I stated that I needed to go home and that I was fine driving at that point, which was a lie. I got out of his car and into my car and carefully drove out of there, heading to Wal-Mart because I knew that it was a place large enough for me to walk around in for a while without drawing attention. I take drunk or buzzed driving seriously and didn’t think I should yet be on a high speed road, although the events that had just taken place had quickly counteracted many of the alcoholic affects thanks to an increase in some serious fight/flight hormones. Once I reached the parking lot, I called my husband and told him that I had just had an incident with a co-worker and that I had been drinking and couldn’t get home yet and I was at Wal-Mart because I needed to escape the situation.
An hour later, with the help of the fluorescent lights and atmosphere, I was able to safely get home. At which point I was still upset and relegated the incident to my husband while visibly shaken and in tears. I was mad at myself. I kept asking how could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I tell him to take his hand off me? After all, that’s what I learned to do. I had digested all types of information about unwanted sexual encounters, I knew I was supposed to say ‘NO’ loud and without hesitation. Yet in that moment, I didn’t. I wasn’t 20 years old, I was in my mid-30s. I was supposed to know how to deal with this. That’s what I kept telling myself. That’s the moment I learned that predators are skilled.
The next day I immediately told the HR person of the incident and said that it happened after work, not knowing if there was anything that could be done. Today I realize that’s stupid, at work or after, this was an unwanted advance by a co-worker. There were very few women in that office and we all shared immediately that we were never to be alone with this man. Nothing more ever occurred between me and that person yet I know of other incidents where he was very touchy with the HR person in an uncomfortable yet somehow unactionable way. If HR is my defense, I have to ask, who is HR’s defense? Who protects the protector? I believe it was about a year and a half later when I was left that company for other unrelated and non-controversial reasons. I found out this person had serious health issues affect him not long after and he eventually left the company too.
Bombshell seemed to be slightly slow in terms of moving along the story but it affected me long after leaving the theater. I realized the deliberate way which it was made isn’t how most movies are in our current environment. This one created a show full of emotions, real emotions. The actresses who played the real and fictional characters did a great job of portraying people who were struggling with deep conflicts while attempting to maintain the illusion of a typical life. The composite character of Kayla (Margot Robbie) did a fantastic job of conveying a deeply traumatizing event and personal struggle, perhaps because she was fictional and didn’t have to comply with one real person’s emotions. My understanding of her character based on internet stories is that she represented real events that happened to many women in the Fox News network, portraying them as if they had all happened to one person.
This movie has made me think about how many laws are created which allow sexual predators to legally gag their accusers behind non-disclosure agreements and how criminally wrong that is. These laws were put only in place because the topic of sex has, and unfortunately continues to be, uncomfortable to discuss. This movie made me think about the culture of keeping individuals quiet and isolated in order to force them to submit. This movie has made me think about what real power is.
Real power is what our constitution gives to us and that is the freedom of speech. We have the right to tell our stories when crimes have been committed and someone has taken advantage of us. We have the right to speak out. We have the power to change this broken system by not giving in to those who wish to continue discussion of sexual crimes behind closed doors and legal documents.
No, the movie wasn’t perfect but I think it left an effect that is important and I thank the real ladies who lived through this experience and shared their stories and the real ladies in Hollywood who brought it to a medium of storytelling.
